drabble - fucking vampires, goddamnit

[redthedragon]

I'm just gonna try and do these on a daily basis. We'll see how it works out. uwu

---

Narcissa was curled up in a ball next to the stairs, gloomily staring at the window and the night beyond.

"What's up?" Cassianus asked, plopping himself down next to her. He was ever so fond of human slang. It drove her nuts. She gave him an annoyed look with reddened eyes.

"I tried to put on my crucifix earlier."

"Are you still doing that?" Cassianus asked flatly. "It's been a hundred fucking years, Narcissa."

"Of course I'm still doing that," Narcissa said pointedly. "Cassian, doesn't it bother you that we're soulless abominations?"

"No?"

"Fuck do you mean, no?"

"I mean no, it fucking doesn't," Cassianus said pointedly. "We're immortal! You're like two centuries old, and I'm more than double that, like, at this point worrying about the," he made air quotes, another marvelous human invention to more effectively make fun of the phrase, "state of my eternal soul, doesn't make any goddamn sense."

"We can't go out in the sunlight."

"Did you somehow forget sunburns? Humans can't handle the sunlight that well either. Stop moping."

"I'm not moping."

"You're totally moping, Narcissa! Look at you, glooming and dooming at the poor innocent window."

"Better a poor innocent window than a poor innocent person."

"Then don't eat innocents? Get involved in the mafia or something."

"Tell that to Alistair."

"Tell Alistair he's a moron and your Roman buddy is smarter than he is."

Narcissa scoffed. "No."

Cassianus sighed. "Why not?"

"You ever think of how weird it is that we keep breathing?" Narcissa said, instead of answering. "We don't need to breathe, and it's not like it does anything."

"So?"

"We're like bad mimicries of humanity," she said, and went back to glooming out the window. Blehh.

Cassianus rolled his eyes. "Try deep sea diving."

"What?"

"Throw yourself into the ocean."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Why--why should I do that, Cassian?"

"Cuz it's fun. You can't breathe, cool, do something with it."

---

i don't have an ending for this and i honestly don't know where it's going, i just know Cassianus is my self insert and he is very tired of sad gloomy vampires dooming and glooming about the fact that they're vampires.

In other news, I took a math exam today, and I failed but with style. I'd be proud or annoyed with myself but I'm just tired, lol