2022-07-13 22:04![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redthedragon
redthedragononce again i am Doing This Thing
Length warning; on the 8th I discovered that there are only 63 texaid fics on the entire AO3. So I just. Read all the ones I hadn't read before. There are 68 total fics listed here. It took me like six (nonconsecutive and not all together) hours to do this properly, admittedly in part because I kept getting distracted by reading fics I was reviewing here.
Anyways.
1. Desk Slut by Polyhexian
yeah i read this one again. You can't stop me. It's really good. You should also read it.
2. Full Moon Night by badly_knitted
Not my favorite fic, but in fairness I clicked onto it accidentally and then just read it out of curiosity. I've never seen Torchwood.
Didn't love this one; it was just really not my thing. I'm not a big fluff fan at the best of times and this one had basically no grit for me to get my teeth into.
3. 100 x 100 by Plugs
We are back to Transformers fics now. If memory serves I didn't really read this one so much as realize I wasn't sure if I was subscribed and checked to see if there were new chapters after poking around Plug's very slick Neocities site. That being said, I really enjoy this series and it gave me a whole ship (Vortex/Kup, tell me that's not immediately jumping out to you as an excellent pair of robots to make kiss) so I'd be remiss not to recommend it on here lol.
4.the machinery of fate by ohdeariemegoodness
This one is funny as all fuck. I had a blast reading it, and I really enjoyed the Bumblebee characterization.
5. The Devil’s Backbone by Polyhexian
Yeah I reread this one too. Don't look at me. It's good! I'm a sucker for stockholm, even if that's not really what this is, and I am SUPER a sucker for Lima, even if that's also not really what this is, and FURTHERMORE as a bitch whose brain is very weird i love when vortex gets to be fully weirdbrain on main.
6. The Deal by Polyhexian
THEY'RE GOOD OKAY. THEY'RE GOOD. yes i may have read the deal fifteen times in less than a month. don't look at me
7. Meaningful Gift(s) by eerian_sadow
This one is cute as fuck and you should read it if you like cute fluff. Prowl says Giving Gifts Is A Skill and I Am The Best At Everything (by giving reaaaaaally good gifts)
8. Playstation Two by eerian_sadow
Just like the last fic, this one is cute as fuck and very heartfelt and I liked it a lot. Slingshot and Sideswipe share a Gamer MomentTM
9. Sniper by eerian_sadow
A little less sugar-sweet than the last, but still excellent; Bluestreak shows Springer that actually he is as good as he says he is.
10. The Dynamic by Polyhexian
SILENCE. SAY NOTHING OF MY READING HABITS. YES I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS. SHUT UP
11.Grading Curves (Day 2: College) by AsYouCommand (OminousHummingObelisk), SKINKWORKS
I've read this before, but it's really funny, so I read it again. Anyway, I enjoy it; Pharma is just the worst, most incredibly godawful professor of all time and for some reason it brings me great glee to read about that, as a person who fucking cannot stand college
12. Medic's Copter Pet by Kiyuo_Honoo
Thought this was alright. Shattered Glass is rarely really my thing except for when it's a SG/Regular crossover, and I didn't really feel like there was anything special outside that, so I wasn't huge on this. This was my first start on the texaid tag, so expect a lot more lukewarm fics from this point on. (Typically i find my fics from either being recommended it or following someone who posts fics I know I like, lol)
13. Diversity Hire by Iron
I've been following this fic for a while. I really like it. The texaid is minimal but the driftrod is delicious, and I really enjoy "haphazard medicalbot Roddy doing outdated corpse-based medicine on people because Nyon hasn't got money but they got plenty of mutual aid to go around". It's worth a read, I think.
15. Recharge cycle by Plugs
VORTEX'S WEIRD AND BAD SEX DECISIONS YESSSSSSS this series brings me so much glee. i love vortex getting to just be a giant weird pervert and doing all sorts of hinky shit with people for fun. My Vortex is a lot meaner than Plugs's Vortex, but I love this cute little knife bastard so damn much anyway. Anyway yes you should read this one, consensual somnophilia is a hell of a flavor
16. Brig time by Plugs
Vortex says "brig is so boring because I can't have sex :("; Motormaster says "yeah you can, I am right here"; shenanigans ensue. Fucking love this fic. I'm obsessed with the idea of Vortex getting himself stuck in the brig on account of all the interpersonal violence and just being like "ok well. now i'm bored, it is time for me to have sex" and just screwing someone right there. while in a cell.
17. Little Copters (old version) by Plugs
Mostly linking this one because I did still read it all the way through. I do still really like it, but as it says, it's being reworked, so next time I'll probably do the smart thing and just read the new versions lol.
18. Twisted Blades by Plugs
[drooling, panting] I'm being so normal about this. I'm so normal about this fic, I have feelings for this fic that are normal and not obsessive or weird at all. ignore all the . ignore all the times ive reread it. don't look at that number i'm being SO NORMAL about it
anyway if you didn't guess, I fucking adore this fic, I love this fic so much, I want to pick this fic up and bite it and shake it like a dog. I want to put it in my mouth and swallow it. I want Hook and Vortex to let me watch. I want to be both of them. If you like hard gore/painplay then read this, you won't regret it.
19.Petticoat Blues by goresque
BRAT WHIRL BRAT WHIRL BRAT WHIRL. i enjoyed the fuck out of this one too. vortex and whirl playdate god no. thank god there was supervision i think someone might have died otherwise
20. Battlefield Medic by Squiddly_Diddily
Didn't love this one; felt like the characterization was kind of ehhh. Didn't finish reading.
21. I can't escape it (You're my weakness and you're my vice) by Yellowblitzever
in contrast. Fucking loved this one. First Aid has a crisis for a thousand words straight about the whole Vortex thing while Vortex is just, like, napping. Excellent. I am eating it right now with a giant spoon.
22. Fics for my Fren by plsnskanks
Also enjoyed this one. Postwar; Vortex struggles to get used to the new ways of things. I wouldn't call it amazing, but it's certainly funny. The rest of the Combaticons kind of get asshole-treatment in order to make Vortex look better, which is an interesting choice that keeps coming up to varying degrees elsewhere, which is an interesting trend, because I genunely feel like Vortex should be the meanest motherfucker on that team just in terms of "how much do you try to ruin the lives of the people you're stuck with"; dude is an interrogator torturer who doesn't leave work at the door. Everyone else is pretty much just a soldier (except Swindle, who is a war profiteer cosplaying as a soldier). Interesting to see how different methods to show that "this guy is supposed to be the one you like" are used depending on how much the reader is expected to just look at all sorts of shenanigans and assholery and go "neat okay lol"
23. Strawberry Milkshake by SilenceoftheLlamas
This one was mostly mediocre aside from a few unexpected moments of sudden shining greatness, after which it would just go right back to being really mediocre. Still worth reading if confusing hostage situations and mindfraggy shit scratches your id, because I know it scratched mine lol.
24.A Handful of Lies by BunnyFair
VORTEX 1 FIRST AID 0 POWERPLAY EPIC MOVE HELL YEAAAAAAA
also a fic that was really mostly mediocre but hit my id. i just love when people do stupid cruel shit to get one over on people they care about for no good fucking reason except that it'd be funny and vortex deserves to do that all the time forever and ever and ever until he has no friends left and has """"won"""" all his relationships
25. vortex's no good very bad great day by Peruse
this one is SO FUNNY to me. TFW you just want to fix this dumbass before he dies and he refuses to stop getting off on it and making it your problem. Another one I genuinely enjoyed; very short though
26. A disappointing dissertation by Peruse
Also enjoyed this one! Seeker trine shenanigans. Yes i liked the one before enough to go to the author's page and read some more, and this was like, good, but not amazing.
27. my spark spins only with you by Peruse
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SOMNOPHILIA. Fucking love somno fics. Anyway this one slaps and hit my id even though I spent basically the whole thing going "this isnt consensual this is dubcon there's been no actual consent anywhere and they haven't spoken about this before" lol.
28. Payment, Please by SoldaatRoojse
Did not like this one. Read it to read a different fic but I just didn't care much for the takes on the characters found within and the smut wasn't that interesting.
29. The Invite by SoldaatRoojse
And the fic I read the last one for! Was not worth it. Did not like; did not finish.
30. charge management by ohdeariemegoodness
In contrast. Fucking loved this one. High pitched noises, etc etc. First Aid is like "i'm gonna make you overload so that you're more medically stable" and vortex is, of course, a giant perv about.... having a doctor make him orgasm agsdfhjkasd like. somehow First Aid is the one being weird about it here, it's delicious. he spends like half the fic going "D: but its a medical procedure, i will NOT make it horny" its DELIGHTFUL
31. Facade by Catminty
This fic is like, kind of a testament to the dangers of an unpleasant narrator, I guess? I really didn't love it for a couple reasons, but as it turns out they were supposed to be unsettling and weird things to say; I just figured they were author views and not character views because i've come across "the cassettes aren't full people and are actually children" one too many times. If I were to reread it, I'd probably like it better.
Contents: one post-war-autobots-won-bad-end fic wherein the Autobots enslave the defeated Decepticons; Blaster takes on Soundwave and his cassetticons and is like "we are a nice happy family" while literally not one of the Decepticons wants to be there.
32. Masquerade by Catminty
Second fic in the Facade series, the one that made me way chiller about the first. I'd actually recommend reading this one first; I think it'll give Blaster's whole...... thing way more Kick.
33. Euphoria by ultharkitty
I'm pretty sure everyone in the TF fandom knows Ultharkitty is the like undisputed reigning champion of texaid, so it may be a surprise that this one is actually new to me, but I tried to read it years ago, decided I was more interested in Vortex doing all sorts of mental and emotional violence on First Aid and therefore that Vortex just being a cool bdsm elder was not that interesting, and moved on with my life.
That said, reading this fic now is like. Fuck I wanna go to Euphoria. fuck I wanna screw around with a bunch of weird kinksters who will teach me how to do it. FUUUUUUCK i want to do a chase scene in a fake city one day so bad. FUCK
fics that make you long for a slightly different kind of world I guess lmao. It gave me emotional problems and i mean that as a compliment. at my core i really am a giant kink-loving weirdo and I want to apprentice myself to a more experienced kinkster so I can be confident in doing kink that might be dangerous and I don;t know how to do that these days but this fic REMINDS ME
34. Drug-Haze by orphan_account
People really like their texaid somno fics huh. I liked this one a fair amount. Wasn't my favorite fic ever but I thought the whole "you can fuck First Aid but you can't let him *know* about it or that you did it" rule from Onslaught was interesting. it has meat on its bones.
35.Whip cream by NoriNoriNoriaki
Didn't like; didn't finish. There were no capital letters in the entire fic and they kept writing the dialogue like "oh but yes~" and as much as I have a tolerance for poor grammar, I have my limits lmao. It was borderline unreadable to me and I didn't care enough about the premise to keep reading past like three lines.
36. The nyas™ by Nipple_Stealer_007
This is a joke fic and possibly meant to be ship-bashing but I thought it was funny as fuck. i thought it was genuinely funny enough to read through their entire backlog. so.
37. Debriefing by Nipple_Stealer_007
[wheezes] essentially just an incorrect quote for like four lines total
38. Hell's gates by Nipple_Stealer_007
another incredibly funny stupid joke by nipple stealer 007 and the final work on their account.
39. Taking by orphan_account
Second in the series from Drug-Haze (#34, slightly out of order because I opened a few tabs at once and then read them out of order). I liked this fic too; Onslaught drugs and rapes Smokescreen (who is Swindle's boyfriend at the time). I thought it was an interesting dynamic, even if I don't necessarily think it would be Onslaught's usual "thing".
40. Altering Memories by orphan_account
I just... do not care enough about Chromedome and Prowl having this dynamic to read this. I opened it, i read six lines, I decided I didn't care, I didn't keep reading. My interest in CD/Prowl noncon usually runs the other way because I think Chromedome being selectively cruel is sexy lmao.
41. Keep Breathing (Only I) by dragongummy
I keep opening this one and then not reading it. I just have zero interest in Moon Knight, and I continue to have zero interest in Moon Knight. It sounds good from the premise, I just... eh. Eh. you know?
42. In Which Primus Loves Steve (And Soundwave Is Stuck Playing Cupid) by Kemmasandi
This fic is funny as hell and cute as fuck, and also super recently completed! I first read it years ago and was very excited to hear Kem had gotten back to it, so I read it. I liked the ending.
43. Shall We Dance? by Darksidekelz
FUCKING ADORE THIS FIC. The whole time I was reading it I was bothering a friend like "here is a snippet. here's the entire next paragraph" so much so that I think i sent that friend the entire fic over discord. The whole thing is just absolute gold.
Vortex dances with First Aid (on guard duty) so he and his buddies can spike the punch at a party It's great. It's so fucking funny it's so good. I highly recommend it.
44. My little medic by NoriNoriNoriaki
I got like. six paragraphs in before deciding I hated this take on First Aid and Vortex XD idk I like them to both be extreme kinksters yes but Big Sexy Normal Dom Vortex and Uwu Baby First Aid doesn't really do it for me, I want them both to be absolutely out of their heads and fascinated by Bodies. I got the impression this was someone else's idfic so like, good for them, and I hope they enjoyed it a lot; not for me. It felt like one of those fics written by a sub for a sub, if you get what I mean.
45. Why do you ask ? by Glassedvenom
SPEAKING OF IDFIC. SHOVES THIS IN MY MOUTH. OMNOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. conversations i've had irl with people i was dating (who, admittedly, were way more into it than first aid is here). this fic fucks
46. No boundaries by Insecuriosity
absolutely adored this one too; this fic makes me feral. tfw your baby fever is so bad that you find a convicted rapist and basically go "you are gonna fuck me so hard i get a baby out of it. fuck you" and then you two do that. Filed right under "fics that gave me a new kink scenario to think about"
47. Worth Any Price by Jarakrisafis
I liked this one! This Vortex is such a dick. Maybe not the best fic I've ever read in my life, but great nonetheless.
48. Untitled by Jarakrisafis
ok YES this one is short as hell but I liked it a ton, it's a really nice little vignette and I like regular/sg crossovers.
49. Request ficlet: G1 Vortex/SG First Aid by ultharkitty
Didn't know I hadn't read this one before! Sg/Regular again, and I reaaaaaally like the outsider POV going "dammit give me back my evil first aid :/ stop making him like you, weirdo from another dimension :////"
50. Request drabble - dom!First Aid/sub!Vortex by ultharkitty
THIS one ive definitely read before but it's pretty damn good anyway. Worth a read.
51. Kindred Spirit by Jarakrisafis
This one is pretty damn good, too. There are some rough edges around it, and it's close enough to how I write that I spent about half the fic going "wait, but if they did x it would've sounded better", but that's my own internal editor going haywire on me because I liked it lol. Definitely worth a read if you like sg/regular fic again, though I feel like it could've been turned "up" more.
52. Optimus and Megatron in Kinky Anniversary Shenanigans by ultharkitty
A followup to Euphoria (#33 on this list). I thought it was cute. Not my favorite thing; probably not going back on the reread pile, though that's more because I'm thoroughly sick of cute megop- but definitely cute.
53. The Spark Transplant by Ayngelcat
I wanted to read and like this fic so fucking bad. I couldn't do it. It just didn't work. It was fascinating to me, I was so got by the premise, but I just couldn't make my way through the writing. I'm annoyed about it! I wanted to read it! Maybe I'll take another crack later.
54. Playing for Keeps by remnantmachine
Another SG/Regular texaid! This one mostly focuses on sg!first aid, which, like, fine, but that's not really why I read these fics, so it wasn't my favorite, but like. It was fine. It was a good read.
55. Safe in my Arms by Jarakrisafis
This one honestly didn't do it for me. I just like... didn't care that much. I don't think I finished reading it.
56. Cosmos' Wonderful Vacation by ultharkitty
Another Euphoria (33) followup. I liked this one; thought it was cute. Probably wouldn't reread it again either, though, I'm just not big on fluff.
57. Turning Tables by spacehussy
This one I liked a lot, too. Vortex is just fucking annoying here, as he should be<3
58. Captive by CasusFere
Really enjoyed this one, too, I like this take on First Aid. I felt like the author kind of bought into his whole pacifist shtick a little too much for my tastes (in the "it's morally virtuous" sense) but that didn't stop it from being a fucking fantastic fic that went hard and landed well. I liked this Vortex, too, and they let Ratchet come in to kick ass and take names, which like never happens. All in all, I liked this one a lot.
59. Anamnesis by Jarakrisafis
Much like the other fics by this author, I liked this one a fair bit, but it just didn't quite hit the spot for me. Still pretty good if nightmares are your bag but I also have never had a nightmare in my life, so I'm kind of the opposite of the target audience lmao.
60. Side Effects by ultharkitty
Yeah I've read this one before too. Who gives a shit. It's really good and I like it. vortex is just like "yeah sure autobots i have been Cruelly Abandoned and must help you to get off this planet" solely so he can get some autobot medic pussy and then ask Blast Off to come get him, it's funny as hell. me at 16 pretending i needed a ride home so i could hang out with my friends for longer instead of calling my mom to pick me up from theater practice, but with more robots
61. Twister by ultharkitty
Yeah I reread this one too. This is like my favorite take on Vortex ever, he's just such a dick here. "My gift to you, Autobot, is shame and guilt" :3ccccccc i just want to wind him up and sic him on people like a dog, i want to force him to kneel and put a gun to his head, i love him and i want to hurt him and i want to watch him hurt people and it DELIVERS on all that. it's one of my favorites :3
62. Recall by ultharkitty
Sequel to Twister! Yes this was also a reread. This fic brings me such great sorrow and misery and upset and [throws computer at wall] because it's unfinished and it *says* there's a part 2 coming but it was also last updated in... 2012... ;-; wails and whines and sobs and etc. it's really great right up until it runs into a perma-cliffhanger, though
63. Attachment by ultharkitty
YESSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSS i love when Stockholm Syndrome i love when Mindbreaking and i love when Lies and Bullshit and Manipulating and it is really good [gestures] all of that. Well worth reading.
64. Corruption by ultharkitty
Followup to Attachment; i have Feelings about walking-bomb Smokescreen doing whatever he can to get out from under the thumb and First Aid just not seeing it until it was too late and the interruptions and the way it doesn't work right but it still kind of works and [yells]
anyway yeah. worth reading.
65. Every Day Is A Winding Road by cleverThylacine
Still reading this one. Therefore onto the list it goes.
66. Fracture by BouncyPickle
Yeah yeah I don't care about stranger things Yes but you know what I do care about. mutual noncon and mind control and "no one will ever believe you" situations and characters with no way out. I care about that. Anyway this fic scratched my id right up until the mindbreaking and then it immediately started pissing me off because I felt like it was unrealistic lmfaoooooo so like. 8/10, didn't stick the landing (for me), but still worth reading the beginning half of again.
67. Haunt Me, Then by glimmerglanger
okay I may not be a big codywan person (I'm more interested in Vader, like, post-O66 Vader, than basically any other star wars character) but this writer writes some interesting codywan fics and one of my friends is a big codywan fan, so they recced me this series and I'm having a good time watching it come out. post-O66 AU where the clones who killed their Jedi during the Purge see that same Jedi's force ghost in times of trouble, but Cody doesn't see Obi-wan, and he's really mad about it because he's also very very sure Obi-wan is super fucking dead. Good good meaty ass angst.
68. The Dynamic 2 Electric Boogaloo by Polyhexian
literally WHILE I WAS DOING THIS LIST polyhexian, writer of the three texaid fics giving me brain worms, came out with ANOTHER FIC that is the good shit top shelf Texaid content. and also dedicated it to me! which was very exciting of them to do even if it wasn't the best fic i'd read in ages, but yeah no this one fucks so fucking hard, i'm obsessed, i literally cannot get the fuck over it. Like The Dynamic, it's a collection of loosely-connected smut snippets but GOD they are full of so much CHARACTER and i am just
i am obsessed, i cannot get over it, i am so into it, i love this writer's take on them SO MUCH. highly recommended. please read them
Length warning; on the 8th I discovered that there are only 63 texaid fics on the entire AO3. So I just. Read all the ones I hadn't read before. There are 68 total fics listed here. It took me like six (nonconsecutive and not all together) hours to do this properly, admittedly in part because I kept getting distracted by reading fics I was reviewing here.
Anyways.
1. Desk Slut by Polyhexian
yeah i read this one again. You can't stop me. It's really good. You should also read it.
2. Full Moon Night by badly_knitted
Not my favorite fic, but in fairness I clicked onto it accidentally and then just read it out of curiosity. I've never seen Torchwood.
Didn't love this one; it was just really not my thing. I'm not a big fluff fan at the best of times and this one had basically no grit for me to get my teeth into.
3. 100 x 100 by Plugs
We are back to Transformers fics now. If memory serves I didn't really read this one so much as realize I wasn't sure if I was subscribed and checked to see if there were new chapters after poking around Plug's very slick Neocities site. That being said, I really enjoy this series and it gave me a whole ship (Vortex/Kup, tell me that's not immediately jumping out to you as an excellent pair of robots to make kiss) so I'd be remiss not to recommend it on here lol.
4.the machinery of fate by ohdeariemegoodness
This one is funny as all fuck. I had a blast reading it, and I really enjoyed the Bumblebee characterization.
5. The Devil’s Backbone by Polyhexian
Yeah I reread this one too. Don't look at me. It's good! I'm a sucker for stockholm, even if that's not really what this is, and I am SUPER a sucker for Lima, even if that's also not really what this is, and FURTHERMORE as a bitch whose brain is very weird i love when vortex gets to be fully weirdbrain on main.
6. The Deal by Polyhexian
THEY'RE GOOD OKAY. THEY'RE GOOD. yes i may have read the deal fifteen times in less than a month. don't look at me
7. Meaningful Gift(s) by eerian_sadow
This one is cute as fuck and you should read it if you like cute fluff. Prowl says Giving Gifts Is A Skill and I Am The Best At Everything (by giving reaaaaaally good gifts)
8. Playstation Two by eerian_sadow
Just like the last fic, this one is cute as fuck and very heartfelt and I liked it a lot. Slingshot and Sideswipe share a Gamer MomentTM
9. Sniper by eerian_sadow
A little less sugar-sweet than the last, but still excellent; Bluestreak shows Springer that actually he is as good as he says he is.
10. The Dynamic by Polyhexian
SILENCE. SAY NOTHING OF MY READING HABITS. YES I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS. SHUT UP
11.Grading Curves (Day 2: College) by AsYouCommand (OminousHummingObelisk), SKINKWORKS
I've read this before, but it's really funny, so I read it again. Anyway, I enjoy it; Pharma is just the worst, most incredibly godawful professor of all time and for some reason it brings me great glee to read about that, as a person who fucking cannot stand college
12. Medic's Copter Pet by Kiyuo_Honoo
Thought this was alright. Shattered Glass is rarely really my thing except for when it's a SG/Regular crossover, and I didn't really feel like there was anything special outside that, so I wasn't huge on this. This was my first start on the texaid tag, so expect a lot more lukewarm fics from this point on. (Typically i find my fics from either being recommended it or following someone who posts fics I know I like, lol)
13. Diversity Hire by Iron
I've been following this fic for a while. I really like it. The texaid is minimal but the driftrod is delicious, and I really enjoy "haphazard medicalbot Roddy doing outdated corpse-based medicine on people because Nyon hasn't got money but they got plenty of mutual aid to go around". It's worth a read, I think.
15. Recharge cycle by Plugs
VORTEX'S WEIRD AND BAD SEX DECISIONS YESSSSSSS this series brings me so much glee. i love vortex getting to just be a giant weird pervert and doing all sorts of hinky shit with people for fun. My Vortex is a lot meaner than Plugs's Vortex, but I love this cute little knife bastard so damn much anyway. Anyway yes you should read this one, consensual somnophilia is a hell of a flavor
16. Brig time by Plugs
Vortex says "brig is so boring because I can't have sex :("; Motormaster says "yeah you can, I am right here"; shenanigans ensue. Fucking love this fic. I'm obsessed with the idea of Vortex getting himself stuck in the brig on account of all the interpersonal violence and just being like "ok well. now i'm bored, it is time for me to have sex" and just screwing someone right there. while in a cell.
17. Little Copters (old version) by Plugs
Mostly linking this one because I did still read it all the way through. I do still really like it, but as it says, it's being reworked, so next time I'll probably do the smart thing and just read the new versions lol.
18. Twisted Blades by Plugs
[drooling, panting] I'm being so normal about this. I'm so normal about this fic, I have feelings for this fic that are normal and not obsessive or weird at all. ignore all the . ignore all the times ive reread it. don't look at that number i'm being SO NORMAL about it
anyway if you didn't guess, I fucking adore this fic, I love this fic so much, I want to pick this fic up and bite it and shake it like a dog. I want to put it in my mouth and swallow it. I want Hook and Vortex to let me watch. I want to be both of them. If you like hard gore/painplay then read this, you won't regret it.
19.Petticoat Blues by goresque
BRAT WHIRL BRAT WHIRL BRAT WHIRL. i enjoyed the fuck out of this one too. vortex and whirl playdate god no. thank god there was supervision i think someone might have died otherwise
20. Battlefield Medic by Squiddly_Diddily
Didn't love this one; felt like the characterization was kind of ehhh. Didn't finish reading.
21. I can't escape it (You're my weakness and you're my vice) by Yellowblitzever
in contrast. Fucking loved this one. First Aid has a crisis for a thousand words straight about the whole Vortex thing while Vortex is just, like, napping. Excellent. I am eating it right now with a giant spoon.
22. Fics for my Fren by plsnskanks
Also enjoyed this one. Postwar; Vortex struggles to get used to the new ways of things. I wouldn't call it amazing, but it's certainly funny. The rest of the Combaticons kind of get asshole-treatment in order to make Vortex look better, which is an interesting choice that keeps coming up to varying degrees elsewhere, which is an interesting trend, because I genunely feel like Vortex should be the meanest motherfucker on that team just in terms of "how much do you try to ruin the lives of the people you're stuck with"; dude is an interrogator torturer who doesn't leave work at the door. Everyone else is pretty much just a soldier (except Swindle, who is a war profiteer cosplaying as a soldier). Interesting to see how different methods to show that "this guy is supposed to be the one you like" are used depending on how much the reader is expected to just look at all sorts of shenanigans and assholery and go "neat okay lol"
23. Strawberry Milkshake by SilenceoftheLlamas
This one was mostly mediocre aside from a few unexpected moments of sudden shining greatness, after which it would just go right back to being really mediocre. Still worth reading if confusing hostage situations and mindfraggy shit scratches your id, because I know it scratched mine lol.
24.A Handful of Lies by BunnyFair
VORTEX 1 FIRST AID 0 POWERPLAY EPIC MOVE HELL YEAAAAAAA
also a fic that was really mostly mediocre but hit my id. i just love when people do stupid cruel shit to get one over on people they care about for no good fucking reason except that it'd be funny and vortex deserves to do that all the time forever and ever and ever until he has no friends left and has """"won"""" all his relationships
25. vortex's no good very bad great day by Peruse
this one is SO FUNNY to me. TFW you just want to fix this dumbass before he dies and he refuses to stop getting off on it and making it your problem. Another one I genuinely enjoyed; very short though
26. A disappointing dissertation by Peruse
Also enjoyed this one! Seeker trine shenanigans. Yes i liked the one before enough to go to the author's page and read some more, and this was like, good, but not amazing.
27. my spark spins only with you by Peruse
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SOMNOPHILIA. Fucking love somno fics. Anyway this one slaps and hit my id even though I spent basically the whole thing going "this isnt consensual this is dubcon there's been no actual consent anywhere and they haven't spoken about this before" lol.
28. Payment, Please by SoldaatRoojse
Did not like this one. Read it to read a different fic but I just didn't care much for the takes on the characters found within and the smut wasn't that interesting.
29. The Invite by SoldaatRoojse
And the fic I read the last one for! Was not worth it. Did not like; did not finish.
30. charge management by ohdeariemegoodness
In contrast. Fucking loved this one. High pitched noises, etc etc. First Aid is like "i'm gonna make you overload so that you're more medically stable" and vortex is, of course, a giant perv about.... having a doctor make him orgasm agsdfhjkasd like. somehow First Aid is the one being weird about it here, it's delicious. he spends like half the fic going "D: but its a medical procedure, i will NOT make it horny" its DELIGHTFUL
31. Facade by Catminty
This fic is like, kind of a testament to the dangers of an unpleasant narrator, I guess? I really didn't love it for a couple reasons, but as it turns out they were supposed to be unsettling and weird things to say; I just figured they were author views and not character views because i've come across "the cassettes aren't full people and are actually children" one too many times. If I were to reread it, I'd probably like it better.
Contents: one post-war-autobots-won-bad-end fic wherein the Autobots enslave the defeated Decepticons; Blaster takes on Soundwave and his cassetticons and is like "we are a nice happy family" while literally not one of the Decepticons wants to be there.
32. Masquerade by Catminty
Second fic in the Facade series, the one that made me way chiller about the first. I'd actually recommend reading this one first; I think it'll give Blaster's whole...... thing way more Kick.
33. Euphoria by ultharkitty
I'm pretty sure everyone in the TF fandom knows Ultharkitty is the like undisputed reigning champion of texaid, so it may be a surprise that this one is actually new to me, but I tried to read it years ago, decided I was more interested in Vortex doing all sorts of mental and emotional violence on First Aid and therefore that Vortex just being a cool bdsm elder was not that interesting, and moved on with my life.
That said, reading this fic now is like. Fuck I wanna go to Euphoria. fuck I wanna screw around with a bunch of weird kinksters who will teach me how to do it. FUUUUUUCK i want to do a chase scene in a fake city one day so bad. FUCK
fics that make you long for a slightly different kind of world I guess lmao. It gave me emotional problems and i mean that as a compliment. at my core i really am a giant kink-loving weirdo and I want to apprentice myself to a more experienced kinkster so I can be confident in doing kink that might be dangerous and I don;t know how to do that these days but this fic REMINDS ME
34. Drug-Haze by orphan_account
People really like their texaid somno fics huh. I liked this one a fair amount. Wasn't my favorite fic ever but I thought the whole "you can fuck First Aid but you can't let him *know* about it or that you did it" rule from Onslaught was interesting. it has meat on its bones.
35.Whip cream by NoriNoriNoriaki
Didn't like; didn't finish. There were no capital letters in the entire fic and they kept writing the dialogue like "oh but yes~" and as much as I have a tolerance for poor grammar, I have my limits lmao. It was borderline unreadable to me and I didn't care enough about the premise to keep reading past like three lines.
36. The nyas™ by Nipple_Stealer_007
This is a joke fic and possibly meant to be ship-bashing but I thought it was funny as fuck. i thought it was genuinely funny enough to read through their entire backlog. so.
37. Debriefing by Nipple_Stealer_007
[wheezes] essentially just an incorrect quote for like four lines total
38. Hell's gates by Nipple_Stealer_007
another incredibly funny stupid joke by nipple stealer 007 and the final work on their account.
39. Taking by orphan_account
Second in the series from Drug-Haze (#34, slightly out of order because I opened a few tabs at once and then read them out of order). I liked this fic too; Onslaught drugs and rapes Smokescreen (who is Swindle's boyfriend at the time). I thought it was an interesting dynamic, even if I don't necessarily think it would be Onslaught's usual "thing".
40. Altering Memories by orphan_account
I just... do not care enough about Chromedome and Prowl having this dynamic to read this. I opened it, i read six lines, I decided I didn't care, I didn't keep reading. My interest in CD/Prowl noncon usually runs the other way because I think Chromedome being selectively cruel is sexy lmao.
41. Keep Breathing (Only I) by dragongummy
I keep opening this one and then not reading it. I just have zero interest in Moon Knight, and I continue to have zero interest in Moon Knight. It sounds good from the premise, I just... eh. Eh. you know?
42. In Which Primus Loves Steve (And Soundwave Is Stuck Playing Cupid) by Kemmasandi
This fic is funny as hell and cute as fuck, and also super recently completed! I first read it years ago and was very excited to hear Kem had gotten back to it, so I read it. I liked the ending.
43. Shall We Dance? by Darksidekelz
FUCKING ADORE THIS FIC. The whole time I was reading it I was bothering a friend like "here is a snippet. here's the entire next paragraph" so much so that I think i sent that friend the entire fic over discord. The whole thing is just absolute gold.
Vortex dances with First Aid (on guard duty) so he and his buddies can spike the punch at a party It's great. It's so fucking funny it's so good. I highly recommend it.
44. My little medic by NoriNoriNoriaki
I got like. six paragraphs in before deciding I hated this take on First Aid and Vortex XD idk I like them to both be extreme kinksters yes but Big Sexy Normal Dom Vortex and Uwu Baby First Aid doesn't really do it for me, I want them both to be absolutely out of their heads and fascinated by Bodies. I got the impression this was someone else's idfic so like, good for them, and I hope they enjoyed it a lot; not for me. It felt like one of those fics written by a sub for a sub, if you get what I mean.
45. Why do you ask ? by Glassedvenom
SPEAKING OF IDFIC. SHOVES THIS IN MY MOUTH. OMNOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. conversations i've had irl with people i was dating (who, admittedly, were way more into it than first aid is here). this fic fucks
46. No boundaries by Insecuriosity
absolutely adored this one too; this fic makes me feral. tfw your baby fever is so bad that you find a convicted rapist and basically go "you are gonna fuck me so hard i get a baby out of it. fuck you" and then you two do that. Filed right under "fics that gave me a new kink scenario to think about"
47. Worth Any Price by Jarakrisafis
I liked this one! This Vortex is such a dick. Maybe not the best fic I've ever read in my life, but great nonetheless.
48. Untitled by Jarakrisafis
ok YES this one is short as hell but I liked it a ton, it's a really nice little vignette and I like regular/sg crossovers.
49. Request ficlet: G1 Vortex/SG First Aid by ultharkitty
Didn't know I hadn't read this one before! Sg/Regular again, and I reaaaaaally like the outsider POV going "dammit give me back my evil first aid :/ stop making him like you, weirdo from another dimension :////"
50. Request drabble - dom!First Aid/sub!Vortex by ultharkitty
THIS one ive definitely read before but it's pretty damn good anyway. Worth a read.
51. Kindred Spirit by Jarakrisafis
This one is pretty damn good, too. There are some rough edges around it, and it's close enough to how I write that I spent about half the fic going "wait, but if they did x it would've sounded better", but that's my own internal editor going haywire on me because I liked it lol. Definitely worth a read if you like sg/regular fic again, though I feel like it could've been turned "up" more.
52. Optimus and Megatron in Kinky Anniversary Shenanigans by ultharkitty
A followup to Euphoria (#33 on this list). I thought it was cute. Not my favorite thing; probably not going back on the reread pile, though that's more because I'm thoroughly sick of cute megop- but definitely cute.
53. The Spark Transplant by Ayngelcat
I wanted to read and like this fic so fucking bad. I couldn't do it. It just didn't work. It was fascinating to me, I was so got by the premise, but I just couldn't make my way through the writing. I'm annoyed about it! I wanted to read it! Maybe I'll take another crack later.
54. Playing for Keeps by remnantmachine
Another SG/Regular texaid! This one mostly focuses on sg!first aid, which, like, fine, but that's not really why I read these fics, so it wasn't my favorite, but like. It was fine. It was a good read.
55. Safe in my Arms by Jarakrisafis
This one honestly didn't do it for me. I just like... didn't care that much. I don't think I finished reading it.
56. Cosmos' Wonderful Vacation by ultharkitty
Another Euphoria (33) followup. I liked this one; thought it was cute. Probably wouldn't reread it again either, though, I'm just not big on fluff.
57. Turning Tables by spacehussy
This one I liked a lot, too. Vortex is just fucking annoying here, as he should be<3
58. Captive by CasusFere
Really enjoyed this one, too, I like this take on First Aid. I felt like the author kind of bought into his whole pacifist shtick a little too much for my tastes (in the "it's morally virtuous" sense) but that didn't stop it from being a fucking fantastic fic that went hard and landed well. I liked this Vortex, too, and they let Ratchet come in to kick ass and take names, which like never happens. All in all, I liked this one a lot.
59. Anamnesis by Jarakrisafis
Much like the other fics by this author, I liked this one a fair bit, but it just didn't quite hit the spot for me. Still pretty good if nightmares are your bag but I also have never had a nightmare in my life, so I'm kind of the opposite of the target audience lmao.
60. Side Effects by ultharkitty
Yeah I've read this one before too. Who gives a shit. It's really good and I like it. vortex is just like "yeah sure autobots i have been Cruelly Abandoned and must help you to get off this planet" solely so he can get some autobot medic pussy and then ask Blast Off to come get him, it's funny as hell. me at 16 pretending i needed a ride home so i could hang out with my friends for longer instead of calling my mom to pick me up from theater practice, but with more robots
61. Twister by ultharkitty
Yeah I reread this one too. This is like my favorite take on Vortex ever, he's just such a dick here. "My gift to you, Autobot, is shame and guilt" :3ccccccc i just want to wind him up and sic him on people like a dog, i want to force him to kneel and put a gun to his head, i love him and i want to hurt him and i want to watch him hurt people and it DELIVERS on all that. it's one of my favorites :3
62. Recall by ultharkitty
Sequel to Twister! Yes this was also a reread. This fic brings me such great sorrow and misery and upset and [throws computer at wall] because it's unfinished and it *says* there's a part 2 coming but it was also last updated in... 2012... ;-; wails and whines and sobs and etc. it's really great right up until it runs into a perma-cliffhanger, though
63. Attachment by ultharkitty
YESSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSS i love when Stockholm Syndrome i love when Mindbreaking and i love when Lies and Bullshit and Manipulating and it is really good [gestures] all of that. Well worth reading.
64. Corruption by ultharkitty
Followup to Attachment; i have Feelings about walking-bomb Smokescreen doing whatever he can to get out from under the thumb and First Aid just not seeing it until it was too late and the interruptions and the way it doesn't work right but it still kind of works and [yells]
anyway yeah. worth reading.
65. Every Day Is A Winding Road by cleverThylacine
Still reading this one. Therefore onto the list it goes.
66. Fracture by BouncyPickle
Yeah yeah I don't care about stranger things Yes but you know what I do care about. mutual noncon and mind control and "no one will ever believe you" situations and characters with no way out. I care about that. Anyway this fic scratched my id right up until the mindbreaking and then it immediately started pissing me off because I felt like it was unrealistic lmfaoooooo so like. 8/10, didn't stick the landing (for me), but still worth reading the beginning half of again.
67. Haunt Me, Then by glimmerglanger
okay I may not be a big codywan person (I'm more interested in Vader, like, post-O66 Vader, than basically any other star wars character) but this writer writes some interesting codywan fics and one of my friends is a big codywan fan, so they recced me this series and I'm having a good time watching it come out. post-O66 AU where the clones who killed their Jedi during the Purge see that same Jedi's force ghost in times of trouble, but Cody doesn't see Obi-wan, and he's really mad about it because he's also very very sure Obi-wan is super fucking dead. Good good meaty ass angst.
68. The Dynamic 2 Electric Boogaloo by Polyhexian
literally WHILE I WAS DOING THIS LIST polyhexian, writer of the three texaid fics giving me brain worms, came out with ANOTHER FIC that is the good shit top shelf Texaid content. and also dedicated it to me! which was very exciting of them to do even if it wasn't the best fic i'd read in ages, but yeah no this one fucks so fucking hard, i'm obsessed, i literally cannot get the fuck over it. Like The Dynamic, it's a collection of loosely-connected smut snippets but GOD they are full of so much CHARACTER and i am just
i am obsessed, i cannot get over it, i am so into it, i love this writer's take on them SO MUCH. highly recommended. please read them
◾ Tags:
*yelling about my fics*
And thanks for mentioning my website, I mostly do it for myself but it’s nice to know other folks like it. I wanna get more fics on there but the way neocities works makes it take a bloody long time. It’s worth it to me for the sheer joy of having your own website you’ve built though.
(Yelling about the fics on this list to follow when I’m less busy)
Re: *yelling about my fics*
I'm toying with the idea of just putting an iframe into my site that goes to an RSS reader with updates from my ao3 homepage, but [groans for ten thousand years] coding :/
also HELL YEAH you have written a bunch of vortex fics and they're GREAT
ETA: you can yell if you want! But this is also more meant to be a reference for myself (I have a bad habit of completely forgetting what I've read and whether or not I liked it until I go back and reread, and this should save me some time and headache if I want to go back and find something I vaguely remember haha) so please don't feel obligated to XD
Re: *yelling about my fics*
You can get websites that do the RSS feed for you that do all the work as an embedded generated code so you don't have to code it. There's some free ones that are actually pretty decent.
I just like yelling about things I enjoy. I forget what I've read yesterday even if I remember I've read the fic, so I can't really do a list like this myself. XD
Re: *yelling about my fics*
Re: *yelling about my fics*
I didn’t know that blimey. Can you point me in it’s direction I can’t seem to find it.
Re: *yelling about my fics*
https://archiveofourown.org/users/[base username]/readings
so mine is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Dragonn/readings
Re: *yelling about my fics*
Is there another way to navigate to it?
Re: *yelling about my fics*
If i go to my main page, it's in the sidebar between "statistics" and "subscriptions", and if I hit the dropdown that says "Hi, [username]!" at the top of the page it's second from the bottom, below "my assignments" and "my preferences". Hopefully that's some kind of help
Re: *yelling about my fics*