2022-10-29 05:22![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redthedragon
redthedragon"So what actually happened?" Drag Strip asked, arms crossed as he leaned against the bulkhead. Across from him, Vortex stood with bucket and cleaning cloth, carving a comment about Onslaught's lack of sexual prowess into the wall.
"What do you mean, what actually happened?" Vortex said. "I'm on punishment duty. Cleaning up the paint. You know, the same shit you've doen a million times?"
"Nah, like, what'd you get put on for?" Drag Strip popped a candy into his mouth. "You want one of thse stupid oil things Wildrider picked up from Swindle? They taste like asphalt."
"I'll pass," Vortex said. He finished his statement and moved on to scraping the crude outline of a spike underneath. "You standing here for a reason, or are you just bored?"
"Are you gonna answer my question?"
"No," Vortex said.
"Ugh," Drag Strip said. "Boring. It's like you're not even trying to keep this conversation going."
"That's funny," Vortex said. "You see, there might be a reason you think that."
"Fuck off."
"You're so fragging curious that you just have to stand around asking?" Vortex said. "Tell you what, you clean this stupid wall for me and I'll tell you why I'm on punishment duty."
"I'm not doing that."
"Guess you're not gonna hear it, then. What should I write next, you think? 'Drag Strip is slow as shit?'"
"Hey, screw you," Drag Strip said.
"You wish," Vortex said.
"To the wall," Drag Strip continued. "With a nail gun. To shut--"
"That wouldn't be screwing me, then," Vortex said. "You wanna nail me that bad, huh? Get me pinned right where you want me?"
"If it stops you writing stupid shit about me on the wall," Drag Strip said.
"Oh, come on, this conversation was just getting fun. At least pretend to match the energy."
"Am I not matching the energy?" Drag Strip said. "What, you want me to rivet you to the wall just for kicks?"
"Right," Vortex said, "I forgot you were stupid."
"Oh, fuck yourself, Vortex," Drag Strip snapped, feeling his plating fluff up with frustration.
"Regularly and often," Vortex said, picking up the cloth from the floor. "Now are you gonna fuck off or are you gonna hang around? Because I already told you. Stop being fucking boring."
"I'm not fucking boring," Drag Strip snapped. "You want me to fucking nail you to a wall? I can nail you to a wall so hard you never get the fuck off. I'll put nails in all your fucking rotors. People are gonna walk past you and they're gonna think you're just a tapestry or something, I'll nail you so fucking good. I'll rivet you to the bulkhead like you're some sort of patch job, I'll nail you so fucking hard."
"That's riveting," Vortex said.
"Told you I wasn't boring."
"No," Vortex said, "I mean that that's- whatever. What are you gonna do once you got me where you want me, hm? It's not like I can stop you."
"I'll fuck you, I guess. That's what you're getting at, right? I can do that."
"Drag Strip," Vortex said, turning away from the wall. "I know you're naive as shit and have never gotten laid in your life-"
"I've gotten laid before!" He had, even. Regularly and often. He and Wildrider went at it all the fucking time.
"-but the point of this," Vortex continued, like he hadn't said anything, "the point is to make it sound really hot so I go home and jerk off and think about it later. You're doing it all wrong."
"Okay," Drag Strip said. "Are we not having a fucking argument?"
"You are so fucking stupid," Vortex said. "Yes, we are having a fucking argument, emphasis on fucking, and you're trying so hard to show me up it should practically be considered a kink, so I'm trying to enjoy the argument. Fucking especially. You are not making that easy. Give it a little description or something."
"We literally do not have sex," Drag Strip pointed out. "You haven't gone for it. Not for lack of trying. So I-"
"Because you suck at being seductive and it's funnier to watch you fail," Vortex said. "Fuck it. Wash the graffiti for me and I'll suck your spike."
Drag Strip reset his audials. "Come again?"
"If you're gonna be so fragging weird about this. Come on, it's like you've never even heard of a hate boner before. You won't describe fucking me hard up against the wall after nailing me there to shut me the fuck up, okay, whatever, I still have to wash the fucking wall and I'm bored and horny. You do it and I'll suck your dick. Yes? That work for you?"
"Yeah," Drag Strip said. "Yeah, I can do that."
"Cool," Vortex said, tossing the cleaning cloth at him. Drag Strip caught it on instinct. "Solvent's in the bucket. Come find me when you're done, unless you're gonna get scared and tap out. Seems like a waste to me, but you never know with mecha like you."
"Fuck you," Drag Strip said, dipping the cloth into the bucket.
"Yeah, that's the plan, isn't it?" Vortex said. "See you later."
Drag Strip stared up at the ceiling that night and made two promises to himself. The first, that he'd figure out how to make Vortex do that again.
And second, that he would learn how to give head like that one day. It wasn't like he could let Vortex be that much better than him forever, after all.
"What do you mean, what actually happened?" Vortex said. "I'm on punishment duty. Cleaning up the paint. You know, the same shit you've doen a million times?"
"Nah, like, what'd you get put on for?" Drag Strip popped a candy into his mouth. "You want one of thse stupid oil things Wildrider picked up from Swindle? They taste like asphalt."
"I'll pass," Vortex said. He finished his statement and moved on to scraping the crude outline of a spike underneath. "You standing here for a reason, or are you just bored?"
"Are you gonna answer my question?"
"No," Vortex said.
"Ugh," Drag Strip said. "Boring. It's like you're not even trying to keep this conversation going."
"That's funny," Vortex said. "You see, there might be a reason you think that."
"Fuck off."
"You're so fragging curious that you just have to stand around asking?" Vortex said. "Tell you what, you clean this stupid wall for me and I'll tell you why I'm on punishment duty."
"I'm not doing that."
"Guess you're not gonna hear it, then. What should I write next, you think? 'Drag Strip is slow as shit?'"
"Hey, screw you," Drag Strip said.
"You wish," Vortex said.
"To the wall," Drag Strip continued. "With a nail gun. To shut--"
"That wouldn't be screwing me, then," Vortex said. "You wanna nail me that bad, huh? Get me pinned right where you want me?"
"If it stops you writing stupid shit about me on the wall," Drag Strip said.
"Oh, come on, this conversation was just getting fun. At least pretend to match the energy."
"Am I not matching the energy?" Drag Strip said. "What, you want me to rivet you to the wall just for kicks?"
"Right," Vortex said, "I forgot you were stupid."
"Oh, fuck yourself, Vortex," Drag Strip snapped, feeling his plating fluff up with frustration.
"Regularly and often," Vortex said, picking up the cloth from the floor. "Now are you gonna fuck off or are you gonna hang around? Because I already told you. Stop being fucking boring."
"I'm not fucking boring," Drag Strip snapped. "You want me to fucking nail you to a wall? I can nail you to a wall so hard you never get the fuck off. I'll put nails in all your fucking rotors. People are gonna walk past you and they're gonna think you're just a tapestry or something, I'll nail you so fucking good. I'll rivet you to the bulkhead like you're some sort of patch job, I'll nail you so fucking hard."
"That's riveting," Vortex said.
"Told you I wasn't boring."
"No," Vortex said, "I mean that that's- whatever. What are you gonna do once you got me where you want me, hm? It's not like I can stop you."
"I'll fuck you, I guess. That's what you're getting at, right? I can do that."
"Drag Strip," Vortex said, turning away from the wall. "I know you're naive as shit and have never gotten laid in your life-"
"I've gotten laid before!" He had, even. Regularly and often. He and Wildrider went at it all the fucking time.
"-but the point of this," Vortex continued, like he hadn't said anything, "the point is to make it sound really hot so I go home and jerk off and think about it later. You're doing it all wrong."
"Okay," Drag Strip said. "Are we not having a fucking argument?"
"You are so fucking stupid," Vortex said. "Yes, we are having a fucking argument, emphasis on fucking, and you're trying so hard to show me up it should practically be considered a kink, so I'm trying to enjoy the argument. Fucking especially. You are not making that easy. Give it a little description or something."
"We literally do not have sex," Drag Strip pointed out. "You haven't gone for it. Not for lack of trying. So I-"
"Because you suck at being seductive and it's funnier to watch you fail," Vortex said. "Fuck it. Wash the graffiti for me and I'll suck your spike."
Drag Strip reset his audials. "Come again?"
"If you're gonna be so fragging weird about this. Come on, it's like you've never even heard of a hate boner before. You won't describe fucking me hard up against the wall after nailing me there to shut me the fuck up, okay, whatever, I still have to wash the fucking wall and I'm bored and horny. You do it and I'll suck your dick. Yes? That work for you?"
"Yeah," Drag Strip said. "Yeah, I can do that."
"Cool," Vortex said, tossing the cleaning cloth at him. Drag Strip caught it on instinct. "Solvent's in the bucket. Come find me when you're done, unless you're gonna get scared and tap out. Seems like a waste to me, but you never know with mecha like you."
"Fuck you," Drag Strip said, dipping the cloth into the bucket.
"Yeah, that's the plan, isn't it?" Vortex said. "See you later."
Drag Strip stared up at the ceiling that night and made two promises to himself. The first, that he'd figure out how to make Vortex do that again.
And second, that he would learn how to give head like that one day. It wasn't like he could let Vortex be that much better than him forever, after all.
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(no subject)
Vortex doing graffiti on punishment duty, riling Drag Strip up by calling him boring.
Vortex likely sucking his dick to mess with him again.
I love the dynamic its awful and fun.
The fact Drag Strip's plating fluffing up with frustration puts me in mind of a chicken fluffing up its feathers for some reason. XD
(no subject)
i figured vortex was genuinely just bored and horny while I was writing this, so probably not lolol- the scheme was "get someone to get me out of stupid trouble and entertain me" and screwing Drag Strip was plenty good enough at being that even without throwing psychological warfare into the mix.
they're terrible together <3 i love them so much
i was imagining him puffing up like a cat, but a chicken is a lot more accurate honestly XD yellow, loud, and not as badass as they think they are